Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Cellular Dream

Last night, I dreamt I cut a hole in my lower right side just below the ribs and put an old blue Nokia cell phone in there, because I was dared to.  Not sure why I would do such a thing, but I was in a bar so drinking was probably involved.

Once this feat had been achieved, instant gratification was not.  I was left paranoid and burdened by my cell-phone addition.  I started worrying about forgetting to turn it off.  What if someone calls? Was it on vibrate, cause that'll probably feel weird or hurt.  It probably wasn't disinfected so I'm pretty sure its gonna lead to some sort of disease.  But the biggest annoyance was trying to sleep at night.  Every time I wanted to sleep on my side it had to be adjusted, which creeped me out, so I stayed on my back which only made me want the cell phone side more.

Eventually I decided this thing had to come out.  But without insurance it would cost a ton to have a hospital numb me up and cut it out.  Did I trust friends to take it out of me? No way!  So as I fell deeper and deeper into paranoid fear of dying of cell-phone-infection, hope dwindled away....until I realised something.  I just need to go back to the bar and get my friends to dare me to cut it out! Hurrah!!!

And, then I woke up.

1 comment:

Bill said...

Lesson: throw your cell phone into the river and stay out of bars...