Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Cellular Dream

Last night, I dreamt I cut a hole in my lower right side just below the ribs and put an old blue Nokia cell phone in there, because I was dared to.  Not sure why I would do such a thing, but I was in a bar so drinking was probably involved.

Once this feat had been achieved, instant gratification was not.  I was left paranoid and burdened by my cell-phone addition.  I started worrying about forgetting to turn it off.  What if someone calls? Was it on vibrate, cause that'll probably feel weird or hurt.  It probably wasn't disinfected so I'm pretty sure its gonna lead to some sort of disease.  But the biggest annoyance was trying to sleep at night.  Every time I wanted to sleep on my side it had to be adjusted, which creeped me out, so I stayed on my back which only made me want the cell phone side more.

Eventually I decided this thing had to come out.  But without insurance it would cost a ton to have a hospital numb me up and cut it out.  Did I trust friends to take it out of me? No way!  So as I fell deeper and deeper into paranoid fear of dying of cell-phone-infection, hope dwindled away....until I realised something.  I just need to go back to the bar and get my friends to dare me to cut it out! Hurrah!!!

And, then I woke up.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Welcome to the Mittens Blog - WOOT!

So today I start this blog.  It will be a blog of things I choose to write, post, do, hear, feel, joke, express, understand, and bestow upon your face against, but at your own desire. Take it.

Today was an interesting day, being a day off, I had many options and decided to let thing happen as so:

First Thing to happen as so:

Yesterday I had a lazy afternoon and decided to flip on the ol' Xbox 360 to only find it did not want to play nice.  My TV then decides to inform me that "Mode Is Not Supported" whereby I go through a slew of various "fixes" to make it work this morning to only break down and call Microsoft myself.

Yadda yadda Microsoft customer service, which goes suprisingly well, tells me it is the video card in the box that has died and I shall therefore send it in.  Luck has it, my warranty still is valid and they'll pay for it all! So a Win/Loss in that I get it fixed for free yet have no Xbox or DVD player for 2 weeks. Oh well.

Second Thing to happen as so:

I invent a new word that will inevitably be plagiarized thoroughly by other peeps like my very own sister. This word is "Scrazy."  As in, "Wow, that shiznit is super scrazy yo." Or, "Scrazy rad."

Let it be known, I invented "Scrazy."

Third Thing to happen as so:

After a look at the ol' expenses, I decide to PAY OFF THE DEBT! All I have left is school debt-o-doom and I managed to pay it all off today!! WOO! Finally free from the shackles.  Yes, you should be proud of me.  I am amazing and scrazy awesome for doing so. Applause is appreciated and required. Woot!

As Skwoody would say:

So that's my attempt at a starting blog post, it was gonna bomb anyway....oh well.  I'll write when I please and you'll read it when I do, no questions asked.

Love, Mittens.